The Real Truth about Relationships

All couples hit roadblocks in their relationship at some point. Issues such as infidelity, constant fighting, lack of sex, poor communication and broken trust can tear apart any relationship. Couples struggle with these issues for many reasons but one primary reason is not knowing how to communicate without attacking each other or completely shutting down. When couples are in the middle of heated arguments it is very hard for them to be objective and rational. Each person is usually focused on getting their point across instead of listening and understanding. Assumptions are made and then something small turns into a knock down drag out fight. The daily challenge of raising kids, blended families, and finances leaves little time to focus on improving the relationships. Ultimately couples who take the time to understand each other’s needs and make the effort to change can be successful.

Does Couples Counseling Work?

According to research done by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, over ninety percent of couples surveyed report that they received good or excellent couples therapy, and over ninety-seven percent of those surveyed said they got the help they needed. Ninety-three percent of couples who worked with a therapist said they had more effective tools for dealing with their problems. Couples also report improved physical health and the ability to function better at work after attending therapy. YES, couples counseling works!

How Does The Process Work?

You and your partner will see the counselor together for the first session. The first session is the assessment, this is where your counselor finds out the core issues that you are trying to resolve. Your job is to come to the first session with an open mind and ready to give the counselor as much insight as you can. After the session, the counselor will discuss with you how often you will need to come back. Typically couples see their counselor weekly for a few weeks and then slowly decrease. In some instance, the counselor may ask to see each person individually for a few minutes. After the first session, the counselor will begin to introduce the both of you to new tools to improve communication etc. You will also receive homework that will be completed between sessions.

What If My Partner Does Not Want to Come In or Can’t Because of Distance?

There are many people who start coming to counseling alone and then their partner joins them later. The best scenario is for you and your partner to come together but you can definitely start the process alone. If your partner can not come in because of the distance we offer online or phone sessions.

Are You A Good Partner?

Take the 30-second quiz!

Check List: How Do You Know When It’s Time to Get Couples Counseling?

If you answered YES or TRUE to five or more of these statements this may mean it’s time to seek professional help.

  • Repeated issues related to broken trust, lies or infidelity
  • Constant fighting and bickering over the same issue
  • Loss of hope that the relationship can get better
  • Feeling like you are the only one fighting to make things change
  • Fights that lead to physical altercation or verbal put-downs
  • Feeling like the only option is divorce or separation
  • Your partner blames you for everything and is unable to take responsibility for their actions
  • Prolonged periods of lack of sex and intimacy
  • Extreme feeling of anger and resentment towards your partner
  • Staying in relationships for reason other than love (kids, finances, fear of change)

Are You a Good Partner Quiz for Women?

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Are you successful in most areas of your life but just can't seem to get the relationship stuff right? Take the quiz and find out if your thoughts,actions and behavior are sabotaging you. You'll get results from Dr. Neely's quiz and a video on how improve communication.

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