Six Tools To Help Your Teen With Social Anxiety

 

 

It is normal for teenagers to experience some level of anxiety as they develop into young men and women. They worry about fitting in, making friends, getting good grades, and being liked. This kind of anxiety is normal and can even be beneficial. However, when anxiety leads to regular breakdowns, avoidance of normal social interactions, and panic attacks, parents should pay attention.Teen social anxiety has the potential to impact teens mental stability. Issues such as major depression, suicidal thoughts, and debilitating panic attacks can soon follow. 

 Symptoms of Social Anxiety

  •  Increased heart rate and/or hyperventilating
  • Insomnia, fatigue, headaches
  • Twitching, sweating, or tremors, nausea
  • Frequent trips to the bathroom
  • Intense fear of having to perform in a social situation
  • Avoidance of social situations
  • Experiencing significant distress when in social situations
  • Limited interaction with peers
  • Excessive concern about being embarrassed or humiliated
  • Difficulty speaking in public
  • Unwillingness to participate in class

 

 Six Things Parents Can Do

 

1. Validate Don’t Dismiss

Let your teen know you support them, and you believe what they are going through is very difficult. Don’t’ get in the habit of saying, “you have no problems why are you even anxious,” to the teen their thoughts and anxiety is REAL. However, this does not mean you let them have a woe is me mentality. Parents need to validate and challenge teens to use healthy coping skills to feel better. 

 2. Watch Your Reactions and Interactions

Parents tell teens to be confident and not worry but often show teens the opposite. They running around worried about bills, work, being late, and teens pick up on this anxiety. As a parent, you are constantly modeling how to handle anxiety. Make sure you have your anxious thoughts in check.

 3. Pay Attention to the Signs (see list above)

In order to be helpful and supportive, parents need to be able recognize the signs of social anxiety. After all, it is very difficult to help if you don’t know there is a problem. Take another look at the list above and see if your teen is displaying a majority of these symptoms. If they are, then they are probably struggling with legitimate anxiety.   

4. Support but Don’t Enable Avoidance

Teens who struggle with social anxiety become masters at avoiding situations that may trigger anxiety. They will come up with every excuse in the book. The problem is anxiety intensifies in frequency with every avoidance. It’s like avoiding situatoins feeds the anxiety. Teens need to be encouraged to lean into the discomfort not avoid

5. Challenge Teens to Use Basic Coping Tools Before You Step In

Teens often become dependent on parents to soothe their anxiety and rescue them from uncomfortable situations. Parents need to provide support but encourage teens to use coping skills before seeking support from parents. This means parents have to show tough love and let teens figure things out before they step in. Teens will push parents to step in first, but parents need to push back and ask them to use their tools. 

  •  Use breathing techniques (10 slow breathes) 
  •  Journal thoughts or draw
  •  Go for a walk-jog 
  •  Relable the anxiety
    • If you think, “I’m getting anxious,” it creates a destructive spiral. But if you think of it as “getting excited,  you’ll feel more prepared and capable.
  • Write down three past situations where you were anxious, and everything turned out fine.
  •  Lean into the discomfort

6. Know When to Get Professional Help

Social anxiety can quickly turn into debilitating mental health problems. If your teen has been dealing with this issue for several weeks or is at a point where they are avoiding normal teen activities, it’s time to get them some help. As a parent, you may be worried about your teen having to get on medication, but there are many nonmedication tools that can help to reduce anxiety. A professional counselor will help your teen, and you figure things out. 

 

Parents if you are looking for a counselor to help your teen find the tools to finally get rid of anxiety give us a call at 210-523-4200 or click book a  visit button below. We also offer free parent consultations during our parent/teen seminars call or email for information.

In the meantime we have a great podcast episode about parenting teens and the pressure to succeed, click the link below.

 

https://neelycounseling.com/episode15/

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