The month is February, and you know what that means: it’s that time of year again where “love is in the air.” Valentine’s Day cards, roses, and boxes of chocolates can serve as a reminder of that special someone in your life, family, or friends we hold dear to us. On the other hand, this celebration can also bring about feelings of loneliness or even have us questioning whether we are worthy of love.
While Valentine’s Day often focuses on romantic connection and external expressions of love, it can also invite us to reflect on the relationship we have with ourselves. Seeking external validation is one thing; providing ourselves with the love we deserve is something entirely different. In those instances where we are feeling vulnerable due to relationship issues, isolation, a recent breakup, or the everyday stressors of life, it is time to look inward and ask whether we are giving ourselves grace in the moments we need it most.
When it comes to this topic, there are three buzzwords we most often hear: self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-love. Now, you may be saying to yourself: don’t these all mean the same thing? The reality is that words carry weight. This shows up not only in the ways we define what is important to us, but also in the ways that we speak to ourselves.
This brings us to our first term: self-compassion. Let’s say we are going through a breakup. A week or two passes by, and we start questioning our worth. We ask questions like, “Is there something wrong with me?” and start saying things along the lines of, “I’ll never be good enough.” The stories we tell ourselves most often become the ones we believe.
If this is the case, imagine how empowering it would be to shift that negative self-talk into something more compassionate and kind. Once we begin practicing self-compassion, a natural next step is self-acceptance. What would it be like to look at ourselves in the mirror and accept everything we see, flaws and all? This may sound easier said than done, but every journey toward self-love has to start somewhere.
Similar to self-compassion, the more we practice self-acceptance, the closer we get to self-love. Affirmations, relying on our support system, and finding what brings us joy can all be powerful ways of implementing self-love into our everyday lives. So, the next time you feel “love in the air,” take a moment to pause and consider whether the story of self-love is the one you choose to believe.
By: Christa Vento-Jones